In what areas of life did Carolyn have relationship issues?
- 5 yr old Daughter (primary issue)
- Friends
- Babysitter
- Family
List Carolyn’s behavior
- Sad
- Depressed
- Withdrawn
- Work performance down
Carolyn showed her positional view as..
A victim of her family as abusive; work and memories of uncle helped her to externalize the problem.
What emotional burden was Carolyn carrying?
Nightmares about past sexual abuse by deceased uncle
What was said to Carolyn to provide view that God was at work?
“As terrible as the feelings are that come from such memories, God encourages us not to lean on our own understanding of our memories of the pat, or even of our present or future concerns.”
What was given to Carolyn at end of session
- Resources (When Trust is Lost; name/number of Celebrate Recovery ministry leaders)
- Friends active role in observing changes
Nally vs. Grace Community Church for the Valley
- Kenneth Nally committed suicide (4/79)
- Born and Raised Roman Catholic
- Conversion to evangelicalism became a source of friction between him and family
- Seek secular psychologist because of problems with girlfriend.
- Began discipling relationship with Grace Pastor, met 5x.
- Became involved with another girl/ breakup
- Dr. Milestone prescribed Elavil to relieve his depression
- Later Ken saw physician who suggested he undergo full physical exam
- Neither physician recommended psychiatrist
- Went to drop-in counseling at Grace
- Ken attempted suicide by taking overdose of Elavil
- Dr. Hall recommends psyc. hospital
- Ken refused and was discharged
- Stayed with Pastor cause did not want to go home.
- Moved back Home/ Found dead in friend’s apartment (gunshot wound).
Nally vs. Grace Community Church of the Valley (After death)
- Case was litigation for more than 9years, and fortune in legal fees was expended
- Clergy should be free from state imposed counseling standards
- Leaves counseling unregulated to the extent that there will be Christians who are not competent to counsel
What is Grief?
Internal experience of the process
What is mourning?
External response of grief
Goals of the grief process
- Purpose
2. Identity
Grief like stress is an enforced change that effects our…
- attitudes
- Thoughts
- Behaviors
What does Grief =
=loss of someone you cared for
What is Grief the #1 indicator of?
Stress
Caregiver Do’s
- Say I’m sorry
- Words aren’t always needed/remember nothing said will stop person’s pain
- Give permission to grieve
- Listen nonjudgmentally
- Allow them to talk about loved one
- Ask open ended questions
- Tell them you’ll remember them in thought and prayer
- Offer practical assistance
- Share pleasant memory
- Be apart of support system
- Extend condolences to forgotten mourners
4 stages of Counseling
- Listening
- Questioning
- Clarify
- Feedback
Kubler-Ross 5 stage of Grief
- Shock/denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Klinger 5 stages of Grief
- Invigoration
- Primitivization
- Aggression
- Depression
- Recovery
4 stages of Counseling
- Listening
- Questioning
- Clarify
- Feedback
9 Assumption
- God already at work
- Complex problems do not equal complex solutions
- Find exceptions help create solution
- Counselee is always changing
- Counselee is expert + defines goals
- Solutions co-created
- Counselee not the problem/ problem is
- Counseling relationship is positional
- If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
3 positions of counselee
- Willing/ to try something different
- Blaming/ does not see self as part of solution: focus on others problem: wants other to change
- Attending/ comes unwillingly
